SINT MAARTEN (GREAT BAY) - As illness, loss and grief touch household after household across St. Martin, our strength must now include the courage to rest, to grieve and to heal.
Lately, every week seems to bring another announcement: another funeral program to fold, another hospital visit, another phone call that begins, “Did you hear…?” Across St. Martin, many of us are burying loved ones, sitting at bedsides or quietly managing illness of our own. Grief is moving through our whole community, the region and the world.
And still we keep going. We cook for the wake or repast, cover the extra shift and check on the widow down the road. We are good at being strong. But who is caring for the carers?
Grief Does Not Stay in the Heart
In more than 25 years as a therapist and coach, I have learned that grief and prolonged stress settle into the body. They show up as sleepless nights, headaches, a shorter temper and a quieter laugh.
I see it in the nurse who has seen too much, the pastor who has buried too many, and the man who has never been given permission to cry. This is not weakness. It is what happens when we carry more than we were ever designed to carry alone.
Many of us grew up believing that strong people don’t stop. But Jesus did not say, “Keep pushing.” He said, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). Rest and mourning are not failures of faith. They are part of how God restores us.
Four Steps You Can Take This Week
1.Name what you are carrying. Write it down. What is named can be tended.
2.Let someone check on you, and tell them the truth when they ask how you are.
3.Protect five quiet minutes a day for slow breathing, honest prayer and reflection.
4.Book the check-up you have put off, and if you are struggling, speak with your doctor or a therapist.
An Invitation to Pause
Victorious Living Foundation is hosting Come Home to Yourself with Dr. Nicole, a virtual healing retreat on Saturday, October 3, from 4:00 to 6:00 PM AST on Zoom. The afternoon offers breathwork, reflection and guided stillness; teaching rooted in evidence-based counselling, grief recovery and ancient wisdom; and a confidential sharing circle.
Places are limited to 40, open to men and women 18+ at home and abroad, with reduced rates for seniors, nurses, preachers, teachers and students.
Attendees join a founding cohort with an ongoing WhatsApp support community, retreat experiences every one to two months, at an affordable founder’s rate for future virtual retreats, and access to further training and healing offerings.
The first 12 registrants also receive five complimentary sessions of The Journey, the healing process created by the renowned Brandon Bays, offered free as Dr. Francis Cotton completes her Journey Practitioner accreditation. Register at victoriouslivingfoundation.com/retreats.
We cannot prevent every loss, but we can make room to grieve, to rest and to heal. We have been strong for so long. It is time to come home to ourselves.
By Dr. Nicole E. Francis Cotton
ABOUT: Dr. Nicole E. Francis Cotton is a Marriage & Family Therapist, Master Therapist of 25+ years, Certified Lifestyle Prescription Medicine & Wholistic Health Coach and Gottman Approved Member. She is Founder and President of Victorious Living Foundation, a St. Maarten-based non-profit organisation, and a bestselling author. Media contact: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. | Tel/WhatsApp +1-721-524-8731 | Website: www.victoriouslivingfoundation.com
