GREAT BAY – According to Skye Loyd, writer on parenting, “The dad effect starts as early as birth. A review of studies by the Father Involvement Research Alliance shows that babies with more involved fathers are more likely to be emotionally secure, confident in new situations, and eager to explore their surroundings. As they grow, they are more sociable. Toddlers with involved fathers are better problem-solvers and have higher IQs by age 3. They are more ready to start school and can deal with the stress of being away from home all day better than children with less involved fathers.
I-Novus Innovative Solutions and Safe Haven host a seminar about fatherhood on Agusut 23.
At school, children of involved fathers do better academically. For example, a study by the U.S. Department of Education found that children of highly involved fathers were 43 percent more likely than other children to earn mostly As and 33 percent less likely to repeat a grade. They are also less likely to have behavior problems at school and to experience depression.
According to the Father Involvement Research Alliance review, girls with involved fathers have higher self-esteem, and teenage girls who are close to their dads are less likely to become pregnant. Boys show less aggression, less impulsivity, and more self-direction. As young adults, children of involved fathers are more likely to achieve higher levels of education, find success in their careers, have higher levels of self-acceptance and experience psychological well-being. Adults who had involved fathers are more likely to be tolerant and understanding, have supportive social networks made up of close friends, and have long-term successful marriages.”
However, not all fathers are in their children’s lives which will then cause the child to become hostile, aggressive and emotionally unstable. Parental rejection also can lead to low self-esteem, feelings of inadequacy and negative worldviews. Therefore, Safe Haven is collaborating with I-Novus Innovative Solutions to present “Fatherhood: Eradicating Domestic Violence”, which will be taking place at Harbour Village, on Wednesday, August 23 at 6 p.m. With its theme “The Need to Father with Purpose and Love”, the seminar aims to bring awareness to a perspective hardly spoken of – the unhealthy identity of macho, uncompassionate, and unloving men and the effect of such identity on children. No access fees will be asked for any of the events and will be open for the community.
Sjorensly Valies says “Being a father means protecting a life that you have created together with your partner, and when that role isn’t fulfilled, he unleashes a potential unruly human onto the world. The role of protection encompasses nurturing, teaching, and steering them in the right direction, and if that isn’t being done, you are creating a potential ball of chaos. And when emotionlessness or abusiveness plays a part, you can either get one of two things: someone who thinks life is unfair and chooses to take it out on the world or someone who recognizes what they’ve been through and doesn’t wish the same on others.
I believe that abusive fathers are the way they are, because of ego – an ego that was either learned or based on their culture. Not being able to accept, adapt, or give in to something that you do not agree to or cannot process in a verbal or a mental manner, then they latch out. They become either verbally or physically abusive because that’s the only way they know how to resolve a conflict. People need to learn how to truly communicate instead of simply forming a conclusion and then reacting. We need to listen.
In my perspective, domestic abusive once subsided, however, now it’s accumulating again because we are becoming more embedded in a social media based environment where opinions and false theories run rampant. And some people are becoming more ignorant, as opposed to informed about different social matters. We need to take a step back and focus on people, instead of focusing on being part of groups”.
According to Rene “To me, fatherhood is about passing on morals and values to the next generation, protecting them for harm, and being nurturing and loving. When a father isn’t doing so, children will grow up like there’s something missing – they will miss the connection with the father figure. If he’s living in the house and not fulfilling that role, he can be setting a bad example for his children. A young man in his care might grow up to follow in his footsteps. Or being the person his daughter looks up to as an example, if he doesn’t personify what a good example is supposed to be, she might not seek out a suitable partner and look for someone who reflects what her father was.
Emotionless fathers may create children with a strong desire for an emotional connection to someone else or breeds children who turn out to be emotionless as well. Abusive fathers are the way they are, because of the lack of a proper role model, and abused individuals can grow up to be abusers themselves. The example of being a disciplinarian might have been twisted in the minds of certain individuals and may worsen as generations go by. Fathers have been preconditioned to see themselves as the person responsible of meeting out discipline, but without love, it can quickly turn into something that it should not be. There’s a difference between discipline and abuse – while discipline is meant to correct, abuse is meant to hurt. And if we can affect the mind of abusers, then we can see a decline in domestic abuse.